


My history between your stars

by I_am_sorry



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, But they are not important, Happy Ending, Iwa-chan doesn't get it, Iwa-chan is frustrated with medical school, Jealousy, M/M, Oikawa suffers the poor thing, Oikawa-centric, Orihime and Hikoboshi, Pining, Tanabata related stuff, There are mentions of OC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-05
Updated: 2015-11-05
Packaged: 2018-04-30 03:45:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,368
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5149043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_am_sorry/pseuds/I_am_sorry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kindness Oikawa thinks is the worst poison of the world to a person already dying of love. Kindness is days and days of care and carefully chosen arguments to make him relent, Kindness is what Iwaizumi has been feeding him all these years. Kindness is what constricts his heart and silences his breathing when Iwaizumi smiles. Kindness is what is been choking him until now.</p>
<p>But kindness is love anyway and he doesn’t know any better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My history between your stars

And I don't care, go on and tear me apart  
And I don't care if you do  
'Cause in a sky, cause in a sky full of stars  
I think I see you  
I think I see you.

 

 

“What is it now? Why are you frowning so hard?”

“Nothing”

“Iwa-chan” Oikawa says impatiently. “You will get premature wrinkles if you keep going like that”

“I don’t give a shit about wrinkles” 

“Language!” He protests immediately looking with fake indignation at his friend. “My ears are delicate”

They are in Iwaizumi’s house and it’s too much of a lovely afternoon to be wasted indoors –they could be outside, buying ice-cream or just resting under the sun. He isn’t asking much, really, he is not even trying to drag his friend to practice some spikes with him but still Iwaizumi refuses him. He refuses to leave his room (or his bed to be more exact).

“Just go already” 

“Iwaaa-chan” He whines. “I don’t want to go alone”

“I don’t feel like going outside” Iwaizumi answers back sullenly.

“Why are you in such a bad mood?”

“I failed a test”

Oikawa looks at him then (Iwaizumi seems sour, annoyed, disappointed even) and tries for another approach. “It was just a test” He says lightly. 

“I had been studying really hard to not fail it” 

Oikawa knows this. He knows Iwa-chan had studied the same lessons again and again until he couldn’t bear it anymore. He had seen him worrying about it for weeks and barely resting until all the content for the test of his books was finally covered. It was important. It was so he could raise his grades for acceptance in medical school.

“I’ll help you next time”

Iwaizumi narrows his eyes –his gaze focusing on him. “You passed?”

Oikawa smiles. “Of course the great me managed a passing grade, not too much just the necessary but still better than nothing, right?”

“Yeah” Iwaizumi looks more interested now.

“So are we going or not?”

“Fine,” He finally says (giving up) “but you are paying”

“I will if that helps you with the wrinkles” 

Iwaizumi just rolls his eyes.

And as they leave, closing the door behind them and with a ‘Be careful’ from Iwaizumi’s mom, Oikawa thinks that there are things his friend doesn’t need to know –like how he had felt the questions of the test were surely easy, or how he had managed a perfect score and the teacher had asked him if he was planning on something more than volleyball because with his grades he could practically go to any university in the country.

Iwa-chan doesn’t need to know that he would gladly give him his grades if that helped him to get to med school –to be closer to his dream (to be happy) or how he would do anything to spare him from any discomfort.

“You there?”

“Yeah”

“What were you thinking so seriously, Trashykawa” Iwaizumi asks obviously more contented than before.

Oikawa just moves his hand disinterestedly as response. “I’m still worried about your wrinkles”

Iwaizumi snorts.

“No really, what are we going to do if you never get a date”

Iwaizumi shrugs. “Someone will love me one day, wrinkles and all”

And Oikawa thinks that Iwaizumi definitely doesn’t need to know that that person already exists and is walking right beside him.

\---

“Hey, Iwa-chan” He prods at his friend right arm with the gum of his pencil. “Say if we were separated by a river of stars, you would come for me, right?”

“Pay attention” Is all Iwaizumi says looking resolutely at their teacher who is explaining some things in the front of the class. Their sits are side by side and Oikawa can’t help himself as he pesters his friend some more. He is bored.

“But, really, you would come… right? I mean if I was trapped you wouldn’t deprive the world form my beauty by leaving me there, correct?” 

“You are not Orihime”

“Iwa-chan” He moans pitifully. “You are so mean”

Iwaizumi gives him one of his most unimpressed stares. “The world would probably thank me for it, anyway”

“I don’t even know why I talk to a brute like you”

Oikawa is not annoyed at Iwaizumi’s jabs –he knows is routine, its years of childhood friendship, fights and effort. It’s them (safe shore).

“Hikoboshi wasn’t a brute” Iwaizumi says simply.

And Oikawa laughs because it’s not their story –it’s not his story, Iwa-chan doesn’t love him in that way (the way Hikoboshi loved Orihime) and he has learned to accept reality long ago so there’s not much to it. He is not a princess and Iwaizumi is not a general and there isn’t river of stars between them just a cascade of words unsaid and promises to be fulfilled one fateful day. 

“No, he wasn’t”

“To be fair,” Iwaizumi adds. “I think he was an idiot”

Oikawa nudges him some more. “So unromantic, Iwa-chan”

“He just brought trouble to her by accepting her feelings; I mean her father imprisoned her because of him”

“It was love”

“No, it wasn’t”

Oikawa sighs. Sometimes they fight over such trivial things –although he has to admit that when they were little it was kind of worst because really fighting over who had the most resemblance to an alien wasn’t exactly the graceful poetry they are discussing right now. “Really, we are fighting over Tanabata now?”

“You started it”

“It was love”

“It was kindness” 

“Kindness is love anyway” 

“Of the worst kind”

He agrees with that so he lets the conversation die there. Kindness Oikawa thinks is the worst poison of the world to a person already dying of love. Kindness is days and days of care and carefully chosen arguments to make him relent, Kindness is what Iwaizumi has been feeding him all these years. Kindness is what constricts his heart and silences his breathing when Iwaizumi smiles. Kindness is what is been choking him until now.

But kindness is love anyway and he doesn’t know any better.

\---

The universe is hilarious sometimes –it leaves you hanging when you are ready to fall. Oikawa wants to laugh at himself right know because really the joke is funny –really, really funny and so he smiles but it actually doesn’t reach his eyes.

The girl in front of him is pretty –petite, with slender fingers and long black hair. She is from second year, her name is Horikata Akane and she is holding an envelope firmly in her hands. It’s a confession and for the first time since he can remember it’s not for him. ‘Iwaizumi-kun’ she says blushing charmingly. ‘I was hoping you could give him this letter for me’

For all that he teases him the reality is that Iwaizumi has had his fair amount of confessions before. He is the reliable vice-captain of the volleyball team (their ace), the most approachable of the lot of them and while firm and sometimes scary he is all softness underneath –some girls have noticed this and have tried to voice their admiration, is not as frequent but it has happened before.

It shouldn’t surprise him then that this girl is here waiting for him to take the letter to take it to her crush –the whole school knows that they are always together and so it’s only logical for her to think that he can help her out. 

“Of course Akane-chan” He says all charm. 

She bows gratefully and runs away after that. 

That afternoon when Iwa-chan visits him to finish homework and play some videogames, Oikawa certainly doesn’t think about papers with poems and black ink dripping away. He doesn’t think of perfume and red lips and the girl who had entrusted her feelings to him that morning. He doesn’t think of things that died before even being alive. He doesn’t think about the letter with elegant feminine calligraphy resting at the bottom of his school bag or about other letter really similar in the terms of the meaning stocked under all his books in some part of his desk –just with a more messy stile, with an UFO sticker on the front and the potential of forever stretching ahead.

Except that he does.

And when Iwaizumi gets up to leave (really late) Oikawa hands him Horikata’s letter with an apology about forgetting it earlier and just the right amount of teasing to make it true. 

Iwaizumi scowls but accepts the letter anyway –Oikawa pretends he doesn’t see the blush on his friend cheeks and waves a cheerful goodbye. 

He also pretends that the letter resting on his desk (his own confession) is not mocking him when he returns to the silence his room and that he doesn’t hear the sound of glass breaking once he crumples said letter in his hands and throws it away.

He pretends the glass wasn’t his heart.

\---

It will happen this way:

Iwa-chan will get to medical school, he will try really hard at it and he will triumph at the end –white and white and white. He will be a doctor and will have a clinic and a lovely house with a lovely wife to make it the perfect match.

Oikawa will be a volleyball professional player with too many victories under his feet but with too many loses inside his chest. He will be deadly on the court and nothing but perfect after hours and hours of practice –it will be red, all red, like the blood on his palms after exceeding the limits of his capacity.

He will be alone (never in a relationship that lasts long enough) and he will visit Iwa-chan and his family during holydays –to his best friend kid’s he will always be their pretty uncle, the one they want to marry once they grow up.

One day he will just stop with the visits and will accept a proposal from some stranger in a really luxury restaurant –the man will get on one knee and show a truly beautiful ring.

Oikawa will look at it, really long and after some minutes he will say yes.

He will think of childhood and dreams and bugs and tanned skin –he will think of a forever that never was.

The man will smile, the people in the restaurant will clap and he will notice then –the man’s eyes have been the wrong color all this time.

\---

“I would have come back for you” Iwa-chan says one no particular day in the school’s rooftop –when they are about to start lunch.

“What?” Oikawa asks not really getting what it is Iwaizumi is talking about. 

“If you were trapped and a river of stars separated us, I still would come back for you” 

“Iwa-chan” He wails. “It’s been ages since I asked you that question”

Iwaizumi shrugs. “I thought you already knew the answer”

Oikawa looks at him and thinks he has never been more in love.

\---

It didn’t happen like this:

Oikawa confessed one day before they parted to their respective universities and Iwaizumi looked at him worriedly, saying ‘I’ve always known but I…I-I can’t love you like that”

Oikawa nodded then (and tasted defeat once again)

Iwa-chan hugged him hard. ‘You are my best friend and I don’t want you to do anything stupid, alright?’ 

“Yeah”

They stopped talking for five weeks after that –until one morning when he woke up, he found a missed call and a massage from Iwaizumi on his phone.

‘Wanna go to have lunch?’

And Oikawa accepted with a tentative ‘Yeah :P’

It was easy after that –like and old song, you have memorized so many times. Their banter, their calls, Iwa-chan’s short temper and awful unimaginative insults, ‘Trashykawa’ ‘Shittykawa’ ‘Assykawa’ and just like that everything was alright –they were friends again and if sometimes Iwaizumi caught him staring, he said nothing at all.

\---

The second time it occurs, it doesn’t surprise him as much. This time the letter doesn’t smell like flowers and the handwriting isn’t as elegant or neat. The confession is from a boy (Hyuuga Akihito). Oikawa knows him, he is a third year –member of the tennis club and really popular with boys and girls alike. He is well known for playing around.

‘You will give it to him, right?’

Confident, the voice of the boy in front of him is confident –he is not asking for a favor, he is giving an order. He expects the world to bend at his will.

Oikawa smiles sweetly (honey and poison at the same time). “I’ll do it gladly Hyuutaka-chan”

The boy frowns at that. “It’s Hyuuga”

“I’ll give it to him” Oikawa says dismissingly as he turns to leave.

Hyuuga Akihito doesn’t know it yet but he has just won one of the worst enemies to ever exist –Oikawa is merciless in matches and right now he feels as if they both are on the court. 

“What? Another?” Iwaizumi seems shocked when he accepts the letter Oikawa hands him, before staring practice.

“Two confessions in a week,” Oikawa teases with something somber shining in his eyes. Iwaizumi is fine with girls or boys, he has said so before. “So popular Iwa-chan!”

“Shut up”

“Mmm”

He makes sure Iwaizumi misses most of his tosses that day –too high, too low, too fast. It is a little form of revenge. Iwa-chan is pissed by the end of the day “What is it now?” He looks accusingly at him “What has you so edgy?”

“Nothing” He answers back, huffing. “It’s just that as you will soon get a girlfriend or a boyfriend and I need you to keep you concentrating on the game”

“I’m not,” Iwaizumi says looking really annoyed at the suggestion (he is starting to snap, Oikawa can see. Iwa-chan has never been good at controlling that horrible temper of his) “I’m not getting a girlfriend or a boyfriend. I don’t have the time for that” 

“Liar,” Oikawa 'tsk's' reprovingly at him. “Akane-chan is too meek to your liking but you do like Hyuuga, don’t you?”

Iwaizumi avoids his gaze, shoves his things (equipment, towel and all) in his bag and half mutters. “We should be going”

Which is a very telling yes. 

Jealousy Oikawa discovers tastes like lemon pie minus the sweetness –just acid and liquid and cold. It’s an awful thing to feel spreading through him like a sickness. In the end he is still in his own self-imposed jail, in the end he is still waiting for Iwa-chan to cross that river full of little twinkle dots and take him away. It will probably never happen and he might have to learn to like sugar free lemon flavor from now own.

“You should ask him out” He comments in their way home –his voice is firm when he advises this and his hands are steady as well he notes with way too much glee. 

Iwaizumi sighs. “You are not letting this go, are you?”

“Nope” He answers faking a joy in his voice he doesn’t actually have. 

“You are weird today, Shittykawa” Iwaizumi looks objectively at him (searching for the cracks in the mask, he knows him to well)

“I just want you to be loved at least once in your life because with your face Iwa-chan you will have it rough” 

Oikawa expects the whack in the head that follows after that. 

\---

To Oikawa’s defense, he has really learned to tolerate lemon by now. Iwa-chan and Hyuuga start to date four days after he gave the boy’s letter to his friend. Iwaizumi is not really into it but he tries (humors the diva that Hyuuga really is inside with even a certain grace).

They go to their first dinner as an official couple one Friday late at night. Oikawa chooses Iwaizumi’s clothing of course and in a very childish attempt dresses him with his worst clothes –Iwa-chan being the idiot he is doesn’t notice and just when he is about to leave his house Oikawa drags him inside again and changes his outfit with a heavy heart. The second set of clothes is nice (hot) in perfect casual and polished Iwaizumi style. 

He thinks as he watches him go that perhaps it will get better someday –at least he is not crying ugly drops of salt water now like he did the first time Iwa-chan went on a date in first grade of high school and that’s a start.

No, he doesn’t feel like crying.

In reality he wants to scream.

Two weeks after the first date Hyuuga corners him in one of the halls of the school. He is furious and Oikawa already knows what he is going to say but listens any way. “He dumped me”

“I’m sorry Hyuu-chan” He doesn’t sound sorry at all.

“You are not”

Oikawa looks at him with forged hurt in his face. “How can you think so lowly of me, Hyuu-chan” He can barely contain his laughter.

“So what if he comes running at you call or drops anything he is doing when you have some scratches, he is not yours anyway” Hyuuga is vicious and cruel.

Suddenly Oikawa doesn’t feel like laughing anymore. It’s too bad really that when he gets upset he can be just as vicious and just as cruel –only that, it’s in his case it’s triplicated. By the end of their encounter Hyuuga Akihito is crying quite abundantly and just avoids running away from Oikawa to save some of his left pride.

The entire school finds about this the next morning (and is too bad as well, that the girls who are the ones who tell the gossip love him more than it and make Hyuuga seem as the bad one)

Iwaizumi doesn’t comment on it but then again he has never listened to gossip. 

Oikawa can live with that. 

\---

It happens (it ends) with a princess a general and a river of stars. It ends like this:

Iwaizumi is in his second year of medical school –frustrated beyond words because the more he studies the more he thinks he doesn’t actually knows shit about what he is reading. He fails an important test again and is thinking that perhaps medicine wasn’t made for him. Oikawa pats him on the back and tells him that everything will be alright.

They go to different universities but share an apartment so to Oikawa life is good.

He feels pity for his friend –who barely sleeps and has so many books to read every day that Oikawa thinks one day he will completely loose it.

Iwaizumi agrees with that.

“I hate this fucking subject, I hate fucking anatomy, I hate fucking physiology and I hate fucking medical school”

“It will pass Iwa-chan”

Oikawa is still in love with (that bad temper and rotten language) him, no surprise there.

“At this rate I’ll never graduate and I will never get to propose and live a peaceful life”

“Ohoho” He coos. “Some has grabbed Iwa-chan attention then?” 

The pain of imagining Iwaizumi eloping with another person doesn’t leave him broken to shreds now (it is just a sting). He has managed to cope… somehow (volleyball, his first love is what keeps him sane) 

Iwaizumi looks at him as if he is the dumbest person on earth.

“I’m talking about you, you dumb piece of Shittykawa”

His eyes open very, very wide. “W-what?” He asks weakly.

“I thought it was obvious by now” Iwa-chan swallows and looks away (there’s a pretty red color rushing to his cheeks) “I mean, I told you in high school I would have crossed a fucking river of stars to be with you, what else you want from me?”

“You love me?” Oikawa will not cry.

“Um,” Iwaizumi scratches his neck embarrassedly and says a faint. “Yeah”

“Since when?”

“Since forever, I think”

Oikawa smiles at this and launches himself at his friend (he clings to him hard, as if he will die otherwise)

“Why are you crying?” Iwaizumi utters close to his face, he is frowning at the tears leaking from Oikawa eyes. 

“I love you too, wrinkles and all” He says.

The river and the jail are behind him now and finally he is free.

**Author's Note:**

> I’m a medical student and I’m in second year and started writing this some days ago after I failed a test (it’s awful, and I’m really frustrated). I was angry and this was born. I hope I did justice to the pining.
> 
> see you again... or not.


End file.
